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Hard to believe that exactly three years ago, my amazingly special little boy was born. 5:03 pm, Greyson graced us with his tiny body and big personality. My birth experience with Greyson was actually peaceful and calm. I had gone into labor naturally exactly 1 week before my scheduled cesarean section and because I didn’t go into labor with Roslynn before my emergency section, I had no idea what to expect.

My section with Roslynn was an emergency due to atypical preeclampsia, so I was really out of it and had zero recollection of signing documents to allow interns into the OR. When it came time to go into the OR this time around, I denied all unnecessary staff/students access to my procedure. It was amazing to have less than 5 people in the room, especially since there were at least 10 in there when I had Roslynn. It was quiet. That’s really the one thing I noticed the most that day- the complete silence in the room. Yes, Derek and I spoke to each other and my doctor spoke with her assistant, but Greyson’s birth was calm, quiet and peaceful. Totally opposite of the 1,095 days to follow.

As you can see, he loved being wrapped up tightly, even snoring away at 3 hours old.

Having our first child 15 months prior to Greyson’s arrival, Derek and I were pros in the newborn baby department. But something with different about G. Countless times I’ve heard the same advice for parents of two (and more) kids- “the older sibling talks for the younger one, so his speech will probably be delayed.” Or, “you can’t compare your kids to each other, they’re all different!”. Or my favorite: “he’s a boy. This is what boys do.” Ok. I get it. But after hearing Roslynn’s cry for 15 months before G was born, I knew something wasn’t right whenever he let out a shrieking scream.

Greysons’s regular “crying” was equivocal to Roslynn’s “I am seriously injured or sick” cry. At all hours of the night (and day) Greyson cried often, and rarely wanted to be held and consoled. We discovered he was an independent (or so he wanted to be) baby, who was ready to conquer the world by 8 months of age. Now, not many people realize this, but in utero, cysts were found in the choroid plexus in his brain. The cysts are one of several flags for trisomy 18, commonly known as Edward’s Syndrome. Luckily, G did not have the other red flags for the condition, nor did he have a positive result when genetic testing was done. Why does this all matter?

If you’ve been following my blog recently, you’ve probably read about Greyson’s recent onset of Grand Mal seizures and several trips to the ER. After 639 days searching for answers, I am becoming more accepting of the fact that we may never truly understand Greyson’s brain, or even have an accurate diagnosis. My birthday wish for Greyson, is that he continues to be a happy, healthy and funny little guy, with a big personality and even bigger head of curls.

Greyson has several upcoming appointments and imaging tests coming up in the next few weeks. He also has his intake at CHOP in Philadelphia, with a doctor that understands his genetic mutation (STAMBP Gene) better than our CHOP neurologist is comfortable discussing with us. But, for the next four days, my goal is to give Greyson the happiest 3rd birthday party he could imagine and allow him to be a typical 3 year old boy. These times are trying, but Derek and I are doing our best with providing the best life possible for Greyson and Roslynn. We can only do this together, leaning on each other, talking to each other about our weaknesses and our accomplishments and by being honest to each other and ourselves when it comes to this entire (long) process. We welcome the challenge whole-heartedly.