The Waiting Game

I am notorious for being the most impatient person in the world. I have such a difficult time waiting for things that I know are important and need to get done. I have always been impatient, which negatively effected me throughout my school years. For example, I would be handed a test or an assignment in class, and I wouldn’t even read the directions and breeze through it. Not sure if it’s anxiety or if I don’t like the feeling of waiting or anticipation, but I have never been the type of person that could sit back and see what happens.

Looking at where my life is now, I wish I leaned the skill of patience in my childhood. When you have a child with ASD or Developmental issues, life becomes one giant waiting list. From the initial phone call to early intervention, to our current wait for the CARD program at Kennedy-Kreiger, it’s been over a year that we have been waiting for clear answers. I should feel proud that I’ve made it over a year of waiting, but my anxiety of not knowing has been constantly on my mind.

At work this week, I was presented with some questions about my personal leadership strengths, areas of growth and how I perceive my current leadership roles. I used my blog as an example of how I want to lead other parents on this journey, to understanding and what they can do to make their lives easier. I also want to lead others because I want those parents that have neuro-typical children to accept and understand what other families may be going through. At the time, I always feel as though these miscellaneous tasks activities at work are boring and pointless, but then I sit and really think about the questions and reasons why we do them. In a way, that boring and pointless activity inspired this post.

Back in December 2017, we had genetic testing done as part of a research study through the Clinic for Special Children (CSC) in Strasburg, PA. The clinic is strictly devoted to children with Amish or Mennonite backgrounds and because Mennonite roots are in both Derek and my family, Grey was able to be seen there. We have been waiting for results since December. This past week, I finally received a fax from the clinic that had an overview of the results, but none that went into much detail. The results read:

“Thorough genetic results not available due to no severe abnormalities found.”

So for 10 months we have been waiting for some sort of genetic explanation as to why Greyson has epilepsy and that was the result. There was also another added comment to the fax, from the doctor G saw in December at CSC that said:

“Family history is positive for Autism Spectrum Disorder and borderline genius intelligence from biological father.”

Explains Roslynn’s ridiculous intelligence and observation abilities.

So for now, we continue to wait. We wait for more genetic testing through Johns Hopkins, a 24-48 hour EEG, a re-evaluation for his Autism Diagnosis and for an intake at the CARD program in Maryland. I wish I could say that I am used to waiting now, but I would be lying. I have however, gotten used to staying busy to keep my mind off of a wait, including some nice naps on weekends and evenings. Greyson has been enjoying them too.