The Unexpected Beach Bum

If you have been following me on any sort of social media, you’d know that my family took our large vacation we typically do every other year, to Hilton Head Island, SC. We were able to celebrate Greyson turning 6 years old, even though he fell asleep before we could sing “Happy Birthday” to him. Hilton Head was ALWAYS my Mom’s happy place, so the thought of going without her was enough for me to not want to go on vacation. My Mom was the matriarch of the SmJoMaZaMi (Smith, Joline, Martin, Zawisa and Milligan) family, so making the 12-hour drive and spending a week together, would absolutely feel different and empty. My Mother knew that she wasn’t going to make it on this vacation, despite pushing all of us to book the vacation much earlier than we typically do, but she wanted us to have a relaxing week together. Well played, Mom.

Up until the night before we left for our trip, I was not excited. I am always so excited to go to the beach, as it is the only place I go where I can feel completely at ease with the world. This was a foreign feeling to me during this trip. Even driving down I-95, I had to fight off the sadness and lack of joy to be going to the beach. In my 32 years of existence, I have NEVER EVER felt sad leaving my house, to venture out on a trip to Hilton Head. We left fairly early in the morning (around 2:30 am), in hopes that the kids would sleep until breakfast. Yeah right! Turns out, the kids were so thrown off course, they stayed up until 11 am. I am literally blind when trying to drive in the dark, so Derek ended up driving until the sun came up, about 5 or 6 hours through Virginia. I knew he was tired, so we switched off. Up until this point, I was feeling so run down and exhausted, I had a hard time keeping my eyes open and focused. After about an hour or so of me complaining about how tired I was, Derek agreed to take over driving again, much to his dismay. I slept immediately after, until we were close to Hilton Head. I couldn’t stay awake. The only other time I have ever felt so drained of energy, was when I had mono back in college.

13 hours later, we were finally in Hilton Head. Crossing over the bridge onto the island, I must admit that I did find some spark of excitement through my exhaustion. Stepping into the condo we rented for the week, I saw the amazing view of the Atlantic Ocean, and my heart immediately dropped. The view was worth every dollar spent and every hour stuck in traffic, it was so beautiful. I had planned prior to arriving, what things inside the condo needed to be moved, hidden, blocked and secured. Judging from the photos listed on the VRBO website, I knew exactly what was needed to make sure the owner’s property wasn’t destroyed by Greyson. Things that I never really thought about until I had a child with special needs- remodeling to avoid disasters. I purchased security bars to secure the patio doors, because I knew he would try to jump if he had a chance to. Luckily, we made it through the week with no issues and only a small plastic trash can broken! Images below are the plans I texted to Derek, to avoid serious injury or damage. I will be doing this in the future for any rentals/vacation places we will attend, it really helped ease some anxiety about the trip.

Our first full day of vacation was filled with lots of uncertainties. We were unsure of how Greyson would react to the ocean and pool, how he was going to tolerate being on the sand, if he could keep his swim vest and flip flops on, and how thrown off he would be by having a new routine for only a week. Turns out, we really didn’t have to panic about much at all- Greyson LOVED the water! He spent hours sitting on the beach, right where the water comes up to the shore. He liked being crashed into by waves, and loved splashing around. Derek was able to sit with him and enjoyed spending time with him on the beach. When Greyson would get fussy or irritable, we would bring him up to the pool or up to the condo to take a nap. This typically recharged him for spending the rest of the day at the pool.

Greyson and Daddy sitting in the waves

Our trip was going fantastic. On Tuesday evening, we went to one of my Mom’s favorite restaurants on the island- Hudson’s. The deck vibe right on the water of the marshland and boats coming in the dock directly after their daily catches, is truly beautiful. When Derek and I went to Hudson’s on our honeymoon, we sat outside and watched the dolphins swim around the water. Though we didn’t see any this time, we did take Roslynn with us and she had a fun time having dinner with just us three.

Enjoying her juice while we wait for dinner

Wednesday was filled with more beach and pool fun, but I was starting to feel super wiped out again. By the time Thursday rolled around, we had planned on just going to the pool for awhile, since I was exhausted, sunburnt and began feeling feverish. The rest of my extended family went out to Hudson’s that evening for their family meals, but Greyson and I decided taking a nap on the couch for 4 hours sounded better than anything else. By the time I woke up from the nap, I could barely move. I was in physical pain, so so so tired and felt horrible. I have serious sinus/immune system issues, so I chalked all of this up to another sinus infection. My sister, Sarah was out with her fiancé, conveniently at a Barnes and Noble right next to a Walgreens. I asked her to pickup a COVID test for me, just to be safe, though I fully anticipated it being negative. Two and a half years into this pandemic, with a compromised immune system, two school-aged kids who bring home germs, and I managed to avoid COVID, luckily. Unfortunately, this time I wasn’t not so lucky.

It finally caught me

As soon as I tested positive for COVID, I immediately notified the rest of the family that I was vacationing with, our on a mask, secluded myself to the master bedroom/bath and pushed through the next 12 hours. When I woke up, I felt even worse. I had ALL of the symptoms: no smell, no taste, fever, body aches, extreme fatigue, horrible headache, runny nose and terrible cough. I lost my voice by the second day from coughing so much and I felt like I had mono and the flu, combined. We made the tough decision to leave early from our vacation. It sucked, yes, but if I was going to have severe symptoms, I needed to be in Pennsylvania where my primary doc is, and closer to home if I needed to go to a hospital. Since having a kid with special needs, I have a good idea of where hospitals are, what insurance will and won’t cover out of state/network and being prepared for anything to happen- all because we never know if or when Greyson will need immediate medical attention.

We packed up the car, the kids and cleaned the condo quickly and were off the island by 11 AM, about 48 hrs earlier than planned. I’m SO happy we left and came home early! By the time we hit North Carolina, I was already having chest/rib cage pain and was having a hard time breathing and staying awake for long periods of time. Let me just give a “shout out” to my hubby, who sucked it up and drove pretty much the entire way to and from the beach. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him! I figured that it would be smart to notify my primary doc, Dr. Miller, to make her aware of my positive test and symptoms. She has been my doctor since 2013, so I absolutely adore her and she truly cares about my overall health. Because of being immunocompromised, Dr. Miller sent an anti-viral medicine, Paxlovid to a 24-hour pharmacy, so we could pick it up as soon as we were back in Lancaster county.

The trip overall was so great, minus the COVID. Sadly, by Friday evening, Derek was starting to show very minor symptoms and I knew the Martin’s were going into quarantine mode for the next week or so. The next day, I was completely exhausted and my cough was getting worse. By lunchtime, I was having a really hard time breathing and was in communication with my doctor regarding going to the ER. Luckily I had my inhalers from my last round of respiratory infections, so they helped immensely. Derek was still experiencing extreme fatigue, body aches/chills, fever and cough and Roslynn began with a cough, too. Covid in a household is truly like dominos- once one falls, they all do. Sadly, I was the first to fall.

My symptoms continued for the next week or so, with breathing still extremely difficult. I had a CT scan scheduled that week for my sinuses, and ended up cancelling due to still testing positive. By then, both kids had minor coughs, low grade fevers and runny noses, and tested positive for covid. We spent the previous week at the beach together, and now we were spending another 7-10 days together with zero help and zero breaks. I was essentially couch-bound due to my cough and fever, but the kids both turned the corner by mid-week. I finally tested negative a few days later, with much relief to me since I had a CT scan I had to get to early the following week. Yes, it sucks that we all had covid and that we were nearly bedbound for over 7 days, but the hardest part of covid in the Martin house, was the fact that Greyson’s in-home therapy sessions needed to be postponed until we all tested negative. Eventually, the kids and I were in the clear, but Derek began with a case of rebound covid. Apparently this is common for patients after they use the anti-viral medications, which Derek and I both had. He took another 2-3 days off and fell into another covid coma for the next two days. Luckily, we all pulled through and made it out to September!

Life lessons learned at the beach were to ALWAYS do research on any place you are staying. Ask for updated photos of the place to look for safety concerns, map out all rest stops (if traveling by car), find the nearest hospital wherever we are staying and buy the extra insurance through VRBO or AirBnB if you’re staying in someone else’s house. May be a few extra dollars, but it truly gave us the peace of mind we needed to survive the week away. Check out more photos from our trip below!

“It’s Just Another Genetic Mutation”

Before the 🦷 came out!

Back in March, we took the kids for their first dental checkup of 2022. At the time, we knew Greyson had a single cavity on the bottom right side of his mouth, but due to his behavior in the office, he was scheduled to have his cavity filled at CHOP in an operating room. After waiting for what felt like forever, Greyson was finally set to have his dental procedure on July 13th. We went into the procedure knowing that he had the one cavity, but had our suspicions about his front left tooth, which was injured in a fall last summer. The plan was for the team to go in after he was sedated, fill the cavity, do a thorough cleaning and check-up, and to get some X-rays, since the images the team got in office, weren’t so great due to Greyson’s behaviors. The entire procedure would last about 30-45 minutes, no problems, in and out quickly.

We left our home around 6:30 am for an 8 am check in, in Philadelphia. The traffic wasn’t too bad surprisingly, but finding a parking spot in the parking garage was a nightmare. Lots of construction in an already highly congested area, made for the WORST as soon as we got into University City. We did the ever so familiar process for checking in, going up to the surgical unit, sitting and waiting for his name to be called, then going back to his patient room. We ended up waiting around a bit in the room. It seemed like the unit was extremely busy and apparently it was mostly dental surgeries/procedures that were being done that day. I was already fairly exhausted after waking up at 4 am, so as soon as we got to a room, I was ready for a nap. We went through the motions of meeting with the nurses, doctors and anesthesiologist (who remembered me from Greyson’s VNS surgery in February-LOL), then waited for the team to bring in the Versed to be administered. We typically have great results with Versed, having used it several times before his other surgical procedures and MRI/CT scans, but this time, the medication didn’t work. This particular medicine is done via nasal spray and is usually fast-acting, but this time, Greyson was still extremely hyperactive and aggressive, even on his way back to the Operating Room.

Looking like a big boy waiting for his name to be called

Derek and I waited in the parent waiting area, where we were anticipating the procedure to be quick and fairly painless, however; after about an hour into the procedure, the lead doctor came out to speak with us. Pulling us aside into a private consult room, the doctor proceeded to tell us that Greyson’s teeth needed a LOT more TLC than initially thought. He not only had the large cavity on his bottom right side, but also several other cavities in between teeth throughout his mouth. He also required two crowns, several caps and multiple cavities to be filled. The icing on the top of the dental sundae, was that he had a genetic mutation, which caused him to have three top front teeth, rather than two. What’s another genetic mutation to add to his already too-long diagnosis listing…..

The doctor stated that the main front two teeth needed to come out, one because there was no room left for them since his additional tooth was already pushing down in through the roof of his mouth. WOOF. Luckily because every other child in the state of Pennsylvania was getting oral surgery done that day, there was an oral surgeon on the premises who was willing to surgically remove Greyson’s third tooth. The doctor showed us X-rays of the tooth and stated it had an abnormally very long root, which was another reason why it needed to be pulled. We agreed with the surgeons that we wanted this to be a one-time thing, so he wouldn’t need to be put under anesthesia again, which they agreed was a good idea. The surgery ended up lasting about 3 hours total, giving me time for a nap for about 45 minutes or so. When his surgery was finally over, the doctors gave us Greyson’s extra tooth (with the long root), and his other one front tooth, for us to keep. It was kinda weird to see how long the extra tooth was, in comparison to his other teeth, but very interesting. He took his good ol’ time coming out of his anesthesia, but once he was up, he was ready to go. Literally, taking off monitors, trying to pull out the IV, etc.

Post surgery

We got in the car and began the drive home. Traffic was a lot heavier getting out of Philadelphia, which surprised me because we were in the middle of the day. We were re-routed through several different areas on the Schuylkill, but finally got back onto the PA turnpike and headed home. His mouth is still healing, but he is sporting a LOT of silver in his mouth, and looks silly with no front teeth. Funny enough, his sister also has two front teeth missing, too- except hers just fell out to make room for the adult teeth coming in.

His front left tooth (on the right) and his extra tooth (left) with the extremely long root
Still a bit drowsy from the procedure on the next day

Since the dental procedure, Greyson has been doing much better eating certain foods and is more willing to eat things that he normally would not have even touched. This is the final week of his ESY (extended school year) services, which means that he will be off from a school setting until he goes back to school, for first grade at the end of August. I am eager to see how he will react once he gets back to the regular, predictable schedule of his normal school days. I for one will be extremely happy that he will be in school again for full days, and that his staff absolutely adore him.

Roslynn is completing her last week of summer school, which was an optional program Derek and I decided to enroll her in, so she could continue her education over the summer. She had previous help in school with her reading and math skills, so we wanted to make sure that she had the concepts and skills fresh in her mind for the next school year, and second grade. She has spent this summer playing outside, playing with her brother and friends, and she attends summer camp every other week for the month of July and first week of August. I have tried to spend as much time as possible with her, doing fun Mom and daughter stuff, since we don’t get much time together alone over the school year. We most recently did a dinner theatre show of “The Little Mermaid” at the Dutch Apple Theatre, which we both really enjoyed! It’s hard to believe that she is going into second grade, and that there are only a few short weeks left in the summer- it always flies by so quickly.

After the show!
Getting Ice Cream at the new Fox Meadows

Our family is taking our first post-Covid vacation in August, and I am absolutely terrified of how Greyson will be while we are in a new setting. I have researched all sorts of safety things, ways to keep him occupied in the car for 12+ hours, and what types of accommodations we needed at the house we are staying at. I’m looking forward to late nights out on the balcony, watching/listening to the ocean, and am hoping to find some time to relax and enjoy the week. My family always takes a large family vacation every other year, so this has been long overdue with COVID and my mom’s illness. I am still finding it hard to believe that she will not be on the trip with us (physically at least). The beach was my Mom’s happy place, much like it is mine. It will be weird heading to the beach and not having her there to make fun of me for not going in the ocean past my ankles (sharks, duh), and laughing at me because I hide from the sun (gingers do not like sunlight). I do look forward to relaxing on the beach with the salt water smell in the air, a pina colada in one hand, and a book in the other. This is all hoping that Greyson will be okay in the ocean/pool, if we all survive the car ride there. Fingers crossed!

South Carolina ❤️
Greyson’s ready to pack up for the beach!

Lucky #7

The past four months have been a complete blur. Truthfully, 2022 in general has been a giant blur. I’ll probably paraphrase much of my life in this post, due to the fact that I can barely remember much that has happened. I will acknowlege that I basically lose my memory when I am stressed, or am in a difficult situation. I definitely think 2022 knocks that one out of the park.

As I wrote about in my previous post, Greyson was recovering well from his VNS implant surgery, and all was going fairly well at first. We noticed he had a lot of vocal stims that almost always happened when the device was actively running. We also noticed that the device also makes him extremely aggressive about a minute or so before the device is on. The first few times we had to swipe the magnet over his VNS, he seemed to respond very well to the intervention. The VNS has appropriately reacted to the seizures, haulting many within one or two swipes. We did two or three in person updates/adjustments with the Neurologist, and the rest of the VNS increases were done remotely, while Greyson was at school.

After about his third or fourth VNS update, Greyson stopped responding to the magnet during seizures. We went from one or two swipes, to four or five and still needing to use rescue medication. One particular seizure at school required all of the above, plus another dose of diastat. When this happened, I made the decision to change either the VNS settings or his medications. Because we were so far along with the VNS settings, we opted to stop his Epidiolex (the CBD based medication) and restart another trial of Onfi. Since weening Greyson off the Epidiolex, he has made a huge improvement on his seizures, not having a grandmal in a few weeks! The only downside to stopping the Epidiolex, is now he doesn’t have much of an appetite. As always though, once he stops having seizures, he doesn’t eat anything. When he’s having daily seizures, he eats everything. We truly can’t win with this kiddo!

Greyson was finally assigned a Registered Behavior Technician (RBT) in mid-April, and we have been SO blessed with such a wonderful team of behavior specialists for him. Our team lead was able to change Greyson’s approved hours, so we have a LOT more coverage over the summer, including when he is at ESY (extended school year) in July. Right now, there are two ladies splitting Greyson’s hours, one main member and an intern. We are doing roughly about 25 hours of behavior interventions with him this summer, more in July once he starts the school program in the mornings.

Roslynn also begins her summer school program at the end of this month. She didn’t fail 1st grade or anything like that, but we had the option of doing a summer program for her, to maintain her skills she has learned over the school year. Luckily her program is virtual, so when Greyson is in person doing his program, I can take her to the local Library and other places to do activities together that we wouldn’t typically get to do.

The conclusion of 1st grade, went out with a bang for Roslynn. We ended up at our local Urgent Care, the evening before the last day of school. She and Greyson were playing in the basement, and Greyson knocked one of our framed photos off the wall. The frame broke and at the same time, Roslynn kneeled down onto the broken frame, slicing a nice hole in her right knee. It wasn’t a huge injury, but enough to require two stitches to close her up. I was making dinner at the time, so I didn’t see the injury actually happen, but she was fairly calm and collected, especially when I told her I was taking her for stitches. She did get fairly dramatic at the Urgent Care, telling the doctor that she was “going to die” in the exam room, and that the doctor was “going to chop her leg off”. At one point, she also stated she couldn’t walk and needed a wheelchair to get out to the car. The doctor stated we were most likely the last patient of the day, and that Roslynn was her favorite person she saw all week. Roslynn did great, taking the numbing agent as a boss, and even watching the doctor stitch up her own leg. I guess it made for a good story on the last day of school.

I am now officially an “as needed” staff at work, so I can focus much of my time this summer on the kids. I went from about 20-25 hours weekly, down to about 10. A big cut, but when you factor in what childcare costs now-a-days, plus hiring a private nurse for G, it really is well worth it. I will go back to part-time in September, and have a similar schedule to what I had previously been working up until now. The best of it all, is that I can sit out on the deck and work on stuff while the kids play in the yard or in the sandbox. I’m also using this time to prepare Greyson for our trip in August. Finding a good form of communication for him, will allow us to have a more successful vacation, hopefully without any injuries or broken items. I am an obsessive planner, so you KNOW I already have a pinterest board of ideas for traveling with a special needs child. Hoping the vacation is more relaxing than work, since we will have zero behavioral help for him during the trip.

Most recently, we celebrated Roslynn’s 7th birthday with friends and family. Sadly, the rain forced many people inside, when we were planning that most of the party would happen outside, but it was a great party regardless. We had a local ice cream truck rented out for our guests to enjoy, rather than doing the traditional cake and ice cream. We did an ice cream themed party, which was a nice theme to kick off summer with. After some spills and a potentially dangerous pinata, the party was a huge success. The ice cream truck was a hit with many guests enjoying the surprise, and we even had some of the neighbors join in on the truck, basically to make up for the fact that we blocked off the entire culdesac with cars and a huge truck. All is forgiven with ice cream in my opinion. My mom would have been so impressed with how far Roslynn has come in a year. She would’ve also loved the rainbow sherbert that the truck offered. I hope that as Roslynn continues to celebrate more birthdays, she will continue with her fun, loving and gentle personality, and will continue to make all of her family, present and passed, proud.

Calm, Cool and Collected.

He loves his water slide!

When I sit to write a post, I’m typically doing so while Greyson is napping, or in the middle of one of my insomnia episodes at 2 AM. I have had my fair share of insomnia episodes over the past month, I have not written a post. So much has happened over the past month, I keep waiting for things to calm down before I can process them and put our life experiences into words. Unfortunately, I can’t forsee our lives calming down anytime in the near future, so chaos writing it is.

Lexi, Aiden and Roslynn in my sister’s wedding

Well, first and foremost, Roslynn celebrated her 6th birthday on May 29. She finished kindergarten on the 28th, which was the same day as my sister’s wedding. What a week it was! Squeezing one last full week of schooling into two days, a rehearsal dinner, wedding, dance recital AND a birthday pretty much ran us down to empty by memorial day. Roslynn was a flower girl at my sister’s wedding, and I was SO impressed at how well she did at the rehearsal and actual ceremony. She and my niece literally started the dancing at the reception and they were certainly the hit of the dance floor! We had such a great time with friends and family, and my sister looked gorgeous. Greyson was an honorary ring bearer, but because of his epilepsy and severe needs, he stayed home and had a nice mini staycation with his Pappy. I must admit, it was so nice to have time away where Derek and I could act like a couple, and it was nice to feel like a “normal” family, even for just a few hours. I know that sounds like something a parent shouldn’t say, but for Derek and I to have a few hours to not worry about chasing after Greyson, worrying about him having a seizure, or what he has in his mouth, was liberating in a way. I did miss him a lot when we left and checked in regularly with Pappy. He was extremely happy to see us once we got home and could snuggle with him.

Birthday Princess playing pretty pretty princess

Things were going fairly well until the end of May. Greyson started having seizures again the week before the wedding, so his neurologist increased his medications for seizure control. He seemed to do okay for a week or so, but has been having frequent seizures since his initial breakthrough in May. Duke came down with a mysterious infection a few days after we picked him up from the kennel, where we boarded him while we were participating in wedding activities. About a day or so when we picked him up, we noticed his hair was falling out a good bit, but I assumed this was because he had a bath at the groomer before bringing him home. By Friday of that week, I noticed that Duke was really biting/scratching at himself, particularly around his ears and neck. Derek and I determined that we would call the vet on Monday morning and see what the deal was with the itching.

What a sad Mr. Duke

Monday morning came and I called the vet’s office at 9 am when they opened. Well, I called for hours and no messages could be left on the machine and I couldn’t get anyone to respond by phone, via facebook messenger or by email. I later found that the office had been closed due to an emergency, so I had to wait until Tuesday morning. Once I finally got someone on the phone on Tuesday, all appointments were booked until Thursday. At this point, Duke’s neck, left side of his face, eyes and several areas on his body were visibly infected. I tried other vet offices for a sooner appointment, but everyone was booked. I scheduled for Thursday with his vet, but something deep down was telling me not to wait, that this could not wait any longer. After calling around and doing some research, I found a newer emergency curbside vet in Lancaster and gave them a call. Luckily, they could see him that evening, so off he went to the vet. After several tests and observation, the vet was ready to send Duke home with two medications and some follow-up lab work orders to be completed after his medicine was gone. Along with the infected hot spot on his neck, that spread to several parts of his body, he also has a condition in his kidneys that dilutes urine too much. Not sure if there is a cure or what we can do about it at this point, but we will follow-up with the vet once we are finished with the meds. The vet said it was a good idea that we didn’t wait, because the infection could have been much worse by the Thursday vet appointment.

Throughout the entire dog ordeal, my concern was getting Duke back to 100% ASAP. With Greyson having seizures frequently again, we need the dog to show us when Greyson is going to have one, or is having one. We gave him lots of TLC, hugs, treats and let him sleep in the big bed with us until he started feeling better. Though he has many bald spots that have remained on random parts of his body, we are so relieved that he is feeling better and is on the mend.

Best buds

Greyson continues to have these partial seizures, which seemed to only impact the one side of his face. Up until yesterday, Greyson had not had a full tonic-clonic seizure in a few months and we knew that the partial seizures lasted for a few minutes, but stopped on their own most of the time. Not that they aren’t concerning, but we were getting pretty confident that we knew what to do and how to manage these partial seizures. Last evening however, Greyson had a severe tonic-clonic drop seizure, which is when the person with epilepsy falls mid-activity and slips into a complete state of unconsciousness. This has happened once before to Greyson, back in July of 2019 when we were on our family vacation. He dropped onto the floor while eating chips and went into a full tonic-clonic seizure. Similar to that event, last evening, Greyson also dropped (luckily on the bed, so he was not injured from the fall) and began having a full tonic-clonic episode. The difference with this episode was that Greyson immediately began to turn blue: first in the lips, then his limbs. I knew that this seizure wouldn’t stop on its own, so we gave him the emergency seizure medication. About 20-30 seconds later, he was up and aware of what had just happened.

His most recent partial seizure

I continue to glue all of the possible triggers together, so we can avoid or try to help him before these happen, but it seems like a completely different issue each time. Whether it be heat, lights, headache, extreme tiredness, hyperactivity or lack of medicine, the possible triggers are endless. I try to be a patient, understanding and informed parent when it comes to my son’s medical needs and concerns; however, after almost 5 years of medical and behavioral concerns, I am quickly losing hope that we will ever find someone who can truly help us. I constantly remind myself that there are individuals out there that have children who are far worse off than Greyson is, and that we could have it so much worse than we currently do. That is always my drive and motivation to keep pushing on and to fight/advocate for him and his needs. As much as we think we know about Greyson and his conditions, there is so much we don’t know. That’s why it is so important that we keep going, keep pushing and keep the faith, despite it being in low supply at the moment.

Post major tantrum nap

As we get closer and closer to settlement and move-in day for our new house, we also get closer to the peak of the summer. I think of how much better things will be for our family once we have space to move around and not be confined to the living room, which serves as our play room, tv room and dining area. Once we survive the hellish heatwave we are experiencing this week, one can only hope that the remainder of the summer is calm, cool(er) and at least a little collected.

Helmet

Minor Headbanging injury

In the spring of 2018, Greyson was written a prescription for a fitted medical-grade helmet, to keep his head safe from the headbanging he does. In 2018, his headbanging was minimal- typically only when he was mad or upset about something and it didn’t last very long. Fast forward to December 2019 and his minimal headbanging turned into severe headbanging, leaving marks on his forehead, even severe bruising. He began to headbang even when he was happy, which Derek and I assumed was a sensory output that we needed to get under control.

He began to really hurt himself in early 2020, which prompted our doctor to write another prescription for a second fitted helmet (his first helmet had bit the dust in summer 2019). Due to still being employed by WellSpan in January, I was encouraged to go through a WellSpan medical supply company to get his helmet. I contacted their office and had the pediatrician’s office fax over the prescription. We then waited for any correspondance from the supply office, which seemed to take abnormally long. Every time I would call, there were lots of different people I was transferred to, nobody knew the status of the helmet and couldn’t figure out what the hold up was. I had extra time on my hands in early March, after I was no longer employed, so I decided to get mean about the order. I contacted the higher ups from the medical supply company and spoke with the manager of the individual responsible for Greyson’s helmet order. I informed her that I had been calling for over 2 months, trying to get the helmet status and that we were in dire need of the helmet, due to an increase in self-injury. Within an hour, I had a return phone call from the staff responsible for the order. The staff member stated that he had attempted to contact me twice by phone in the past two weeks, which was not true, or else I would have taken his call and had Greyson’s helmet in hand. After voicing my concern and informing the staff that this was a long overdue order, I was taking measurements for Greyson’s new helmet.

Due to COVID19, the supply company was closed to the public. I had received the staff member’s personal cellphone number and had a detailed update when the helmet was ordered, shipped and received. Though I truly try to be level headed and kind, sometimes it does pay off to be nasty, I guess.

The helmet came in on a Tuesday and was picked up by my in-laws the same day (they lived closer to the supply company than we do). Back in 2018 when we were using the helmet for his minimal headbanging, any time we brought the helmet out, Greyson stopped hurting himself almost immediately. But as his self-injury increased, simply showing him the helmet no longer worked. We did not have Greyson wear his helmet at all hours of the day, as he was really only needing it when he was transitioning between activities and when he upset (which is when the headbanging was really happening).

June began with another change in our family’s schedule, I started to work again. Prior to working, I enjoyed three months of being a stay-at-home mom and had both Greyson and Roslynn on a consistent schedule. Greyson’s tantrums had decreased and he appeared to be happy and content with the schedule we had established. When I began working, even though it was part-time from home, Greyson’s schedule was completely thrown off. He no longer had a set breakfast/lunch time and no longer settled for a nap around 11:30am-12pm like he had done for the past 3 months.

Fast forward to this past Thursday. I was feeling really good about scheduling and the tasks of the new position, but I knew that they kids were both having a difficult time with the change. I finished working at 1 pm on Thursday and came downstairs to hang out with the kids and get them a snack. We had no furniture in our livingroom because we had a new sofa set ordered and pending arrival. The kids LOVED the extra space in the room, running around and taking advantage of the empty area. I thought Greyson was pretty low-key and mellow Thursday afternoon, even falling asleep around 3 pm, which wasn’t typical of him. I chalked this up to him being tired and not having a nap yet, so I let him lay down for awhile.

I woke Greyson up from his nap around 5 pm, before I made dinner and he was his typical “threenager” self, not wanting to wake up. Us trying to wake him continued well into dinner, then well into the nightly news. Around 6:45 pm, I told Derek that he (Greyson) had to get up and eat something, since he didn’t have snack for me earlier in the afternoon. Derek sat next to Greyson and began to rub his back, neck and head to wake him up. Startled, Derek jumped up and said that something was wrong with Greyson. I immediately thought that maybe he was having a seizure, so I was surprised that he was awake and walking when I looked up. Derek brought G over to me and told me to feel his head. I did. I was shocked. Greyson’s head felt like Jello. I couldn’t feel any sort of skull. Just softness.

A Pre-Helmet meltdown and this was the result

Being the Queen of WebMD and Google, I looked up “Why is my child’s head soft”, which only returned articles and information about newborns and their soft spots. Having given up on the internet, I called the pediatrician’s office and was connected with the on-call nurse. After she consulted with the doctor on call, the nurse prompted us to take Greyson to the Emergency Room at LGH. An all too familiar feeling, Derek got G ready and I packed up his backpack with the essentials (meds, diapers, etc.). I decided I would stay home with Roslynn, who had already begun to fall asleep and because my immune system is not good and COVID is still lingering, I figured this would be the best option. The next bit of information is coming from Derek, so I’ll summarize what he had explained to me.

They got to the ED at about 7:30 pm and it was packed. Individuals who had symptoms or were suspected of having COVID, were placed in a separate area of the hospital, to avoid contamination with those who did not have a COVID concern. He checked in with the receptionist at the front desk, who knew that they were coming, per our pediatrician calling and informing them. He took Greyson to the section of the ED which was a little more secluded from the rest of the ED and it was easier for Derek to confine him in that spot, rather than letting him run wild among the injured and sick. When they were pulled back into triage, the staff member obtained as many vitals as he could and prompted Derek to bring G back into the lobby area until a room was ready. In the midst of being shuffled around, Derek observed a man getting agitated because his mother was suffering from a stroke and still had not been registered. The man became so incredibly irritated, he did not notice that his mother was taken back at first, and proceeded to take his temper outside to the street. Lime street in Lancaster near the ED is a cute little area, stuffed with different physician and specialist offices, most of whom are affiliated with LGH. In the time we live in, the man became so upset, that he was tackled by police who were called, in addition to the ED security staff. I guess it provided much entertainment for all in the ED, since the area is comprised of nothing but glass windows, facing the area where this man was having his fit.

Once Derek and Greyson were called back to the exam room, the doctor came in and felt Greyson’s skull. He too agreed that something was wrong and that his head should not be swollen and tender like it was. He ordered a CT scan immediately and Derek placed the helmet back on Greyson’s head for safety. Staff came in awhile later and attempted to sedate Greyson with a nasal spray (it worked really well for him at CHOP, so Derek had consented to attempting to try that again. This time however, it didn’t work. The staff placed Greyson in a papoose, similar to what he has at John’s Hopkins when he has laser treatments for his face, and got the images that they needed for the CT scan.

Once we got the helmet, he started to punch and scratch himself in the face

Turns out, due to severe headbanging earlier in the day, Greyson had a huge subdural hematoma between his skull and scalp and a likely concussion. The jello type feeling in his head was collected blood, just hanging out in there. Because his head was not actively bleeding and his brain was not impacted from what the doctors could see, he was sent home. After a follow up conversation with the doctor at the ED and the Neurologist, it was recommended that Greyson now wear his helmet at all hours of the day, whether he is happy or sad, just for extra safety of his head. In the meantime, we have to observe him closely until the hematoma is completely healed, to make sure that he doesn’t have any nausea, vomiting or other complications that accompany a brain injury.

The boys got home around 11:30 pm and I had already been weighing my options when it came to being sure that Greyson was getting the appropriate structure and supervision he needed during the day. I made the difficult decision to step down from my new job and be the stability that Greyson (and Roslynn to an extent) need. Upon submitting my resignation on Friday, the owner of the business I was working for, was completely understanding and as a mother to young children herself, could really empathize with my situation. She stated that due to the situation, I would be able to keep my job within the company, but I would be an “as needed fill-in” until the fall, when I could most likely do the company’s billing and other miscellaneous tasks in the evening, after Derek is home from work. I am so appreciative that I am able to stay on staff there, and hope that once Greyson is back in preschool and stabilized, I may be able to restart my tasks within the company.

I’ve also decided to come out of my “retirement” from teaching voice lessons, and really put my time and attention into that for the evenings. Its a flexible position where I am in control of my own schedule, teaching as many students that I want to. I revamped my marketing skills and reached out to some former students, to see if they would like to study again. Needless to say, I’m thinking I could potentially have a full studio again by the end of summer. I know that this is a good move for our family and will give the kids the attention they need during the day, and still allows me to get out of the house and do something on my own a few nights a week. Contemplating changing my LinkedIn account to “Full-time Mom, Fill in admin staff and optimistic musical entrepreneur” as my current job. Maybe I need to work on that job title a little bit.

Post hospital happy face and happy because our furniture still had not arrived
After work snuggles with the babies